It appears that bad-mouthing, humiliating, and abusing law enforcement officials are all the rage at the moment. Because, somehow, the horrific abuse of power displayed in Minneapolis is indicative of how the entire law enforcement community performs. If anyone cares to look at the statics, they would see that it is not true. But not many are interested in the statistics. It is only one’s feelings about the subject that matters. I get it. Feelings of outrage, feelings of injustice are not unfamiliar to me. However, temper tantrums in the form of anarchy, does not, and will not resolve these very real issues.

It is easy to suggest that everyone should just “respect and obey the instructions of an officer,” If we find ourselves in that position. Some find it easy to declare “If you didn’t do anything wrong you should have a problem complying with requests.” In theory that may be true, however, if you are raised in an environment of mistrust of law enforcement, you are less likely to fall for that line. If one is aware they have committed a minor infraction, but are conditioned to believe that they will be accused of a much more serious crime, resisting may seem like the lesser of two evils.

There is an element of a race issue in this truth, in that it is not a “life lesson” that is taught in the “white” community. But it is no less true that they can experience the same treatment from a county prosecutor - they are just ignorant of the politics involved in the justice system. I certainly was.

We talk about the prison population and justice reform, and some problems are certainly being addressed. President Trump granting Alice Marie Johnson clemency for her absurd sentence is only one example. The First Step Act is another. This act addresses Federal and “non-violent” crime. What are the states doing? 

Here is the difficult truth we have to face. People who have committed crimes - even those that qualify as “violent,” can experience injustice. Stacked charges to provoke plea deals, and creative prosecution strategies that distort facts,  and excessive sentences from judges are but a few of the issues. While it’s easy to claim that there is the right to appeal, they are rarely successful, expensive, and take so long that one must do a cost/benefit analysis to determine if it’s simply not worth the investment. Many just resolve to serve the time - whether they deserve it or not. In recognizing this fact we cannot neglect to acknowledge that most will believe they received too much time. That they believe it does not make it true. While addressing the issue of time, there are victims who may believe that the accused and convicted did not receive enough time for their crime.

There is no easy fix to this very complex problem. This problem involves people. People who have very real feelings of pain, fear, injustice, and outrage. And others who have agendas, biases, egos, and jobs to think of. The common denominator in both is relationships. 

This is why we are a country of laws not of men, as attributed to John Adams from 1790:

A Declaration of the Rights of the Inhabitants of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts
Article XXX.
In the government of this commonwealth, the legislative department shall never exercise the executive and judicial powers, or either of them: the executive shall never exercise the legislative and judicial powers, or either of them: the judicial shall never exercise the legislative and executive powers, or either of them: to the end it may be a government of laws and not of men.

We have indeed lost our way. The cause? Pride and power, and the politics of greed and envy. We have lost our way because we allow our feelings and our offended sensibilities to direct our responses to crime. At some point, through the actions of our judicial system - (at all levels) we have become a government of men rather than of laws.

In summary, the judicial system has become institutionalized vigilantism. 

We are a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. We vote for our lawmakers, for our local officials, prosecutors, and judges. The problem we face now is one of moral relativism and decay. For decades we have permitted the courts, government, and the culture to slowly erode the moral compass that guided the founding fathers and gave them their vision for our Constitutional Republic. 

Our elected officials are dependent on the approval of the voters. Our “free press” no longer is concerned with truth. Rather, the voters are manipulated by media, provoked into outrage - whether the outrage is justified or not. What is the result? Feelings of the outrage drive the elected officials. - We are left with the very vigilantism that the judicial system is intended to control.

These observations are not those of one looking in on it from the outside. I’ve never been accused of a crime but I have had the unique opportunity to see this system from two perspectives. I was directly involved in two criminal cases. The first taught me lessons on the second. 

My first experience with the criminal court (not as the accused) enlightened me to the truth about “how they do things” in my county. My second experience showed me that not all courts are created equal. They both showed me that few people care about the process. The second showed me there is at least one judge in my county who cares about applying justice according to the law.

Though the state legislatures have passed the laws the courts are to follow, and the prosecutors are charged with prosecuting crimes, not all courts administer equal justice under the law. Justice is not always easy to define. There may be mitigating factors that justify different sentences for two separate crimes with the same outcome. There are facts and evidence, but there is also the truth behind them. There is no justice if the truth is theorized, politicized, and manipulated to appeal to an angry mob, to push a particular agenda, or even to “make an example of” the accused.

Prosecutors can twist the truth like a pretzel, present theory as fact without supporting evidence, dismiss direct testimony as “minimizing” the crime. Then to follow is the appellate court reviewing the case in the light “most favorable to the state.” State Supreme Courts only agree to hear a very small percentage of the appeals that come before them - and when they do it is unlikely to rule against the state. It’s not about the law, seeking truth, and administering justice.

I know this injustice occurs because I have lived it for the past ten years - as the victim making every attempt to get an unjust vigilante prosecution and bench conviction corrected. I experienced a county prosecutor, the judge, and an appellate court disregard the truth in favor of a far worse scenario. The crime just as it happened was not enough. They distorted evidence to make a single crime become two. - Together, the prosecution and the court indulge their own flavor of vigilantism. A self-righteous form of justice. I have had the rude awakening to the fact that it's all about relationships and preserving the institution.

Injustice happens. - In the courtrooms and judge's chambers every day. It is an ugly truth we need to face and resolve. 

Why such a light sentence? Why such a severe sentence? High bail imposed? Released on recognizance? Continuance granted - or not. The “discretion” granted the court becomes ambiguity which cuts both ways. It can be as unfair to the accused as it is to the victim of the crime.

It is unwise to allow celebrity or social media outrage and inflamed public passions, followed by knee-jerk reactions of elected officials to drive the legislative and judicial processes. Too often there is a “do something to do something” mentality,  only thinking about the ramifications of the action taken when it is too late.

Cops using excessive force is not nearly as widespread as overzealous and deceptive prosecution practices - (even at the highest levels of government.) Add to it the excessive sentencing handed down by the courts. The result is an unfounded distrust of all law enforcement officers. 

Why is no one talking about the real problem?


 

So it is clear that no one can be made right with God by trying to keep the law. For the Scriptures say, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.” Galatians 3:11  (NLT)

As I look out my office window at the beautiful sunny Fourth of July, I sit here an "independent." Big deal. I was sentenced to this independence on May 19th for the next - too many years to consider without bursting into tears.

As a woman who loves America and the freedom and liberty, and "the best justice system in the world" (supposedly), I feel there is little for me to celebrate. The prosecutors and court called me a liar and insinuated that I am not intelligent enough to determine what actually happened to me. I know exactly what happened. I know it was not intentional. I know it still required punishment and I know it was not only over prosecuted, but it was also clearly two punishments for the same crime.

Because of a manipulative detective, a self-righteous and arrogant county prosecutor, and an accommodating court - all corrupt and power hungry, I am not free to live my life the way I choose. I, the "victim" for which everyone "seeks justice," am the one who suffers the punishment of loneliness and a future destroyed.

Terms like "to protect the public" and "demean the seriousness," were used to justify two identical sentences for the same crime. Two months have passed, and there is still no reconciling the sentence handed down. I've read the judicial statutes. I've read the appellate cases that reveal what I already know to be true. I've read the Constitution, and each one leaves no question that the sentence was not lawful. It was political and may have been applauded by agenda driven man-haters. But it certainly was not lawful.

I have little faith that the higher courts will rule against one of their own. I have little faith because it is like a super exclusive club. One in which they play each other and worst of all they play the defendants.  It's just one big judicial game and as the saying goes - the house always wins.

When someone violates the law, they must pay for the crime. There are statutes, laws written by the state that the court must follow. When they don't, they become criminals when they persecute the innocent or over-prosecute the guilty. I keep hearing about the overpopulated prison system. "We need judicial reform," is the mantra. The state needs to look at the over-indictments by local prosecutors, the coercion to accept plea "deals" (or suffer the consequences), and the unlawful sentences handed down that multiplies the burden on the state.

...in addition to multiplying the everyday burdens by forcing me to face them alone.

There are honorable public servants, and this is not directed at them. They know who they are, how they lied, and they believe they will get away with it. Unfortunately, they cast doubt on the entire system.

As the Scriptures say, “No one is righteous — not even one. Romans 3:10 (NLT)

I thank God for my freedom is in Christ because it certainly cannot be found here.

But the Scriptures declare that we are all prisoners of sin, so we receive God’s promise of freedom only by believing in Jesus Christ. Galatians 3:22 (NLT)

I'm still incredulous at what happened. One week ago she declared, with a surprising degree of animosity, "You coulda killed her! - Almost did... inches...seconds. Only by the grace of God is she here." Her exercise in authoritarian admonishment was strictly for show. It could never make him any more sorry for what he did than he already is.

In fact, it was only by the grace of God that did I refrain from standing and telling her what I really think of her remarks.

I still get angry at the realization that they have usurped my experience - my tragedy, to satisfy a personal or political agenda.  Rather than listening to the "victim" and making an evaluation based on actual evidence, the judge relied upon the more "creative" version of the story.

At this time last week, I was doing the re-writes on my impact statement. Surely, the judge would see that my words are my own, not coerced, controlled or influenced in any way except by my desire for the truth to be heard, known, and believed. 

I remember my anxiety and blood pressure rising at the thought of giving my statement. Confirming the turtleneck shirt is a definite necessity today. I received a text, asking how I was doing. Sharing that I was having trouble deciding what to include and omit, she advised,  "Ask the Holy Spirit to help  you." I had been doing that for the past month but still found myself struggling even at this late hour. Even so, her words and the knowledge of all the prayers on our behalf brought me encouragement and comfort.

I listened to the prosecution dramatically tell his version of my story; anger replaced my anxiety and apprehension. "Oh no, you don't get to do that!" I thought to myself. The concerns about the re-writes and my speech-giving abilities evaporated. God used my anger as a motivator for me. - Oh boy, did God motivate me after listening to the prosecutor's tale of fiction!

No longer did I feel anxious. Instead, I felt challenged.  - Challenged to expose the lies. I felt challenged to renounce their assumptions and make it known that I am not some mindless follower deceived by my own wishful thinking. One must wonder. How is it possible for me to successfully make my case to everyone else who chooses to truly listen and who wants to know the truth, - but not to the ones who have gone all in on their agenda? 

Justice may be elusive for the time being. The illogical judgment may bring a sense of victory in the office that continues to pursue their own agenda. It will not go unchallenged. The shady practices will not be kept hidden. The state and the judge who imposed the sentence disregarded the statute stating the overriding purposes of felony sentencing. Sanctions are to be imposed using the minimum sentence to achieve the goal of punishment and/or rehabilitation with the least burden to the state.  To do so would bring into question all the tactics and legal maneuvers that led to the first ridiculous coerced plea agreement. 

"Bleeding-heart liberal,"and my name could never be used in the same sentence. Now, however, I question every criminal report and every imposed sentence I hear that gets my attention. How it disappointing to have my naive vision of a fair and impartial justice system crushed.

The appeals process will begin. Hopefully, the appellate courts will view the tactics of the judicial system in my county as egregious as I and those who are experiencing it with me have. I pray my faith in this system can be restored. Perhaps, that is why we must endure this injustice and separation longer than the law requires. 

Tomorrow, I will list all the laws that were abused by those who are supposed to uphold it - from the beginning - or at least all the ones I can remember. The list is a long one.

What a shame that we can't find today, more of the integrity and unconventional as that of Solomon.

                                                            1 Kings 3:16-28

 Another day down. I've now left work early for the second day. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, depending on one's perspective), work has slowed down a bit, and I'm able to leave without creating a hardship for those with whom I work. I can't say with any degree of certainty when it is that I will be 'me' again. I don't know if that will happen any time soon.

The memories of May 19th consume my thoughts. They invade every hour of every day. The normal things that fill our lives: family, friends, responsibilities, they are now random distractions from the thoughts that fill my mind.

They are angry thoughts - very angry thoughts.

Ephesians 4:26-27 When you are angry, don’t let it carry you into sin. Don’t let the sun set with anger in your heart or 27 give the devil room to work. ​

I would like to tell the world that I have lived up to Jesus' example. - I cannot. Sure, I may not have acted against someone sinfully. I am guilty of a multitude of ungodly thoughts and attitudes. Destroying my Christian witness is and remains my greatest fear. The degree of my anger, may not be evident. My actions may not bring shame upon Christ's name. But God knows what's in my heart.  1 John 3:19-20 

Betrayal, it is an offense one must make the effort to get over. You may think, "Your husband shot you. That is a bit more than betrayal." I am well aware of what he did. I have not suppressed the memory. And contrary to the state's declaration, I have not "minimized" what happened seven years ago. I remember it as it actually happened. It was serious not slippery. It was bizarre not betrayal.

I needed time to heal both physically and emotionally. God in His infinite mercy healed my body in just a couple months. He restored my strength within a year. Emotional healing was instantaneous the moment I surrendered and accepted what I already knew to be true. My husband did, in fact, love and care about Austin and me. This truth became apparent when I ceased choking down the Kool-Aide that the authorities were serving me. I never drink the stuff again, neither metaphorical or otherwise.

Larry was broken, but he did not betray me. He is not a heartless murderer with no remorse and no concern for his family. Larry was spiritually broken and in grave danger of spiritual death. - As we all are, apart from Christ Jesus. He was deceived, and he was in bondage. He was blind to it, but I was not. I prayed for victory over the threat. I prayed for victory against an enemy hoping to destroy him and to destroy my faith that God had not forsaken us.

The fight has not been easy. The spiritual battle was won on May 4th. It was a fierce spiritual showdown in this physical world. It was not 'Larry' who wanted to end my life that day. It was the enemy who wanted me out of the way. His actions were not done knowingly nor purposefully. It was an unreasonable action from a meticulously reasoned person. I said then. I said it in court, and I've said it consistently as soon as the pain medications left were out of my system and my brain no longer in a fog.

Deception, like beverages com in many flavors. The flavor they served my family and me was Larry's betrayal. I choked it down because I thought it was my only choice. Peace returned the second I accepted what I knew to be true. I was no longer tormented when I chose to reject the Kool-Aide of deception and drank in what I know to be true. I trusted those serving their version of the truth. I convinced myself I must trust people I had before never met in my life.

I was not betrayed by the people I knew I could trust. I accepted the deceptive concoction from people and institutions I was taught, and believed, that I could trust. I now gag on the memories of the pretense of integrity, the disingenuous concern, and the self-righteous indignation.

Perspective determines the flavor of 'kool-aide'  others choose to serve and that which we may choose to consume. I took a sip, but it tasted foul. I didn't consume enough to poison the truth.

Now, I must be cautious of my anger - that I don't allow it to betray me as well as my faith in The Truth.
                                                                 Proverbs 6:16-19

"Go ahead, get a new attorney. You can get OJ's dream team, and I will sit in the back of the courtroom and laugh when you're sentenced to 40 years." This is just one of the nightmares in the past seven years.

No, that isn't the intimidation of a county prosecutor. Amazingly, that was the 'advice' of defense counsel. No, it was not a court appointed attorney either. It is intimidation experienced by my husband from the attorney he hired to defend him. Granted, it was a poor and reckless choice. One he wouldn't have made had he been in any state of mind to make such a critical decision. A choice he was prohibited from correcting once he realized the grave error he made. This, the first in a long list of abuses we have experienced.

What was his crime?  - My husband shot me.

So now you may be thinking, "He gets what he deserves."  You do the crime; you do the time. That is the way the law is supposed to work. But as you read the experiences, challenges, and trials we've faced you may just re-think what you believe about American justice.

Never denying the seriousness of the crime, my husband and I are only seeking an appropriate sentence. Now, with a new attorney seven years later,  we have learned that truth has very little to do with justice in the local judicial system.

Hindsight really is 20/20. It was naive for me to assume that when I clarified and corrected the errors and misconceptions about what happened on May 4th, 2010 that the prosecution would see how the evidence did not support the theory they conjured up. Surely, the judge would be interested in making sure that the case would not appear in an appellate court yet again.

My husband had the testimony and support of our son, my family and our friends. I presented my impassioned plea for her to be merciful to us. Annoyed and empowered by the lies I had just heard recited as "fact," my anxiety about public speaking disappeared. I made every effort to fill the room with my voice just as the prosecutor had with his deep, loud voice. Without the advantage of daily practice.  Our son had told me I needed to get a backbone, stand up there, and set them straight.

"You know that is not me," I protested. "How am I supposed to do that?"
"Well, you just have to do it," he replied.  I succeeded. Later, I got a, "You did a good job," from him. Apparently, it was the only value my statement had.

Looking her in the eye, I detailed only a few of the many specific errors of "fact" on record. I assured her that the fictional, based-on-a-true-story case the prosecution presented, was just that - fiction. While listening, the judge offered a disingenuous nod of understanding. Surely, they all understood now. Right?

One would think so. But that is not the case.

Before sentencing, the state preceded to repeat the very same factual inaccuracies (lies?) that I had just refuted in my statement. Then followed up with the insinuation that I was minimizing the crime and blaming everyone else. - This statement from the person I still, with everything in me, hoped was a person of integrity. Wrong.

It is now undeniable. Those in charge of representing the state locally, are not interested in serving the best interest of the state when adjudicating cases. It is an ongoing tally of wins and losses. A game of power, ego, covering your backside, and making the headlines.

Instead of receiving a reasonable, lawful, and appropriate sentence, the judge used what amounts to an algebraic calculation to achieve the already determined number they were seeking. By torturing the truth and performing judicial gymnastics, they managed to get a sentence of 22 years. Creatively sentencing 12 mandatory years from one weapon, while only sentencing ten years for the actual crime. Increasing his sentence from his previously coerced 20-year plea agreement.

Someone found a way to abuse the integrity and intent of the laws of our state. (Yes, that is a biased opinion.) 

Before my personal experience and dealings with the judicial system, I could not imagine this happening. I'm finding that it happens far too often.

I have no doubt many public servants serve with integrity, and use wisdom when administering justice. But those who don't cast doubt on the integrity of those who do, and damage the trust of the public.

If you think the appeals process fixes the problems of the lower courts, think again. Come back for the truth about the time restrictions and "technical" issues that slow down or prevent people getting justice in the higher courts as well.