In general, I am not one to lives in fear. I will however, simply keep my distance from those things that make me uncomfortable, or are clearly dangerous. The edge of a cliff would make me dizzy and nauseous, therefore of course, I would never stand close to the edge of the Grand Canyon. My heart beats faster and my hands get clammy at the very thought of being in the earth... in utter darkness... with all those 'critters'. Therefore, I would never go spelunking.
In Sunday school class we were discussing darkness. Why do so many fear it, and yet we are still sometimes are drawn to it?
The answer of course is... the unknown. - Strolling in a graveyard at night would perhaps make us a bit anxious. There is no real apparent danger but we are afraid of the unknown dangers that lurk where we cannot see. We are sometimes drawn to it because it 'hides' those things we do that we do not want God (and others) to see what we are doing. You won't find many night clubs that have bright lights. Why do you think that is?
Facing and overcoming some fears are good things. We grow. God will help us because God casts out fear. Speaking in public may cause anxiety but when we face the fear we overcome it. though it may never be 'easy', it will likely become easier. Fear of failure and rejection can be very debilitating unless they are faced and conquered.
When I was younger and would get invited somewhere, the 'fear' of being denied permission was stronger than the desire to participate. It really doesn't make sense. There was no danger, simply fear of the word 'no'.
I now find myself in that same place again as I await a response to yet another request for visitation. I have been told 'not at this time' now for the fourth or fifth time. That all to familiar sick feeling in my stomach returns with each request I prepare in order to see Larry. That same powerless feeling I had as a child. Though there was no danger, no valid reason to be denied, I had to accept the 'because I said no, that's why', reason.
What I have now that I did not have then is God providing me strength, courage, and the confidence to know what I am asking is not contrary to His will. I will keep persevering. I refuse to take no for an answer.
Luke 11:6-8 Amplified Bible (AMP)
6 For a friend of mine who is on a journey has just come, and I have nothing to put before him; 7 And he from within will answer, Do not disturb me; the door is now closed, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and supply you [with anything]?
8 I tell you, although he will not get up and supply him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his shameless persistence and insistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs.
With my unwavering conviction, and the strength and power of the Holy Spirit, I will persistently and shamelessly keep knocking on the door until it is opened.... or broken down.
I need not fear, trusting in the Lord's will.