Counting Down

Friday was a day to remember. Tears of joy fill my heart but I try to hold them in. Still unsure of how strangers will interpret them, I don't feel secure revealing my emotions.

Outsiders, those who think they can read a few headlines and determine what's best, have come to annoy me. I guess my arrogance, my own indignant sense of right and wrong, allowed me to be one of those people. Superiority, maybe that's what it is. That feeling that because we were raised in a 'normal' home, because we are responsible adults living responsible lives, causes us to think we can evaluate everyone else's lives and decisions.

Sometimes lessons are learned by traveling a road you never imagined walking. It doesn't take me long to learn lessons though. I thought I was a compassionate person. I truly believed I was strong supporter of personal rights and responsibility. Living life on the 'other side' showed me that I had a lot to learn.

No longer do I watch the evening news, or scan the headlines of the paper and take it at face value. Yes, I still wonder, "How could they do that?" It is followed by an unfamiliar sensitivity to the 'how'. It is a result of the sin in the world that we are all capable of falling into. The sin that can penetrate anyone's life.

'Perspective'. That interesting word was used to inform me that basically is why I face an absurdly long future separated from my own husband....perspective.

Thankfully, the 'perspective' of another has given me hope. I will see my husband soon. My prayers have been answered.

My desperate prayers for my husband's salvation and freedom from alcohol addiction, the years of prayer, have been answered. As I prayed for him, I prayed for my own spiritual growth. I asked God's will for our lives, that we serve Him and worship Him in unity..... God's will ... that none should perish.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matthew 18:12-14  (The Voice)
12 A shepherd in charge of 100 sheep notices that one of his sheep has gone astray. What do you think he should do? Should the shepherd leave the flock on the hills unguarded to search for the lost sheep? God’s shepherd goes to look for that one lost sheep, 13 and when he finds her, he is happier about her return than he is about the 99 who stayed put. 14 Your Father in heaven does not want a single one of the tripped, waylaid, stumbling little ones to be lost.

The wisdom of the world says the shepherd should forget that one missing sheep and chalk it up as a loss. In God’s economy, each soul has its own value apart from all others. Jesus calls the people of His kingdom to help the weak and the friendless, the small and the frail, the mute and the poor, the ugly and the disfigured.
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Sometimes the answer to our prayers doesn't come when we want or do they come on our time tables. Many times we don't see how God has answered until we're looking back and can see how He made all the pieces fit.

Our lives are to be lived for His glory. THAT is his purpose. His love, mercy and grace is so beyond our comprehension that we can't always understand what's going on. 

Faith is all about trust.... I trust.
....and He has never failed me yet.